I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
