My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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