My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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