So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
