Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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