It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The air taste purple.
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