Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
