my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
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