so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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