You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
