i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
