Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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