Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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