Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
