What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
