wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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