new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
