I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
