i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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