His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
