You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
