I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize