i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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