these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
