Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"

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(361): View more from Texas

dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy

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(305): View more from Florida

We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care

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(704): View more from North Carolina

the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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(619): View more from California

i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door

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(860): View more from Connecticut

When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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(+42): View more from

I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here

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