I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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