me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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