My room smells like vodka and shame
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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