You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize