there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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