all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
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Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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