with your own penis?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
