Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Panties = found
Randomize
