i used baking grease as lip gloss
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize