What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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