I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
