If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
