Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
