I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
