Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
