Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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