Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
