fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
