In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
