hell yes lets make some ravioli
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
