My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
