a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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