cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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