awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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