From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
