I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The uberlube is also flammable
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
