i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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