the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have feelings that need drinking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize