this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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