I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I FOUND THE LEGS
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
