ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize