So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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