well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
3pm strippers are depressing
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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