Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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